One Mystery Solved & One To Go...

That would be one mystery to go, but first the solved mystery.

The other day I noticed something peculiar in the garbage can in the bathroom... it was toilet paper. I realize that that in of itself isn't anything amazing especially given that we often use it for blowing noses too. SO... What made this interesting was the fact that it looked like it was used for a bloody nose... it looked brown... like blood looks after a few days. I asked Julie if anyone had recently had a bloody nose. She said not that she knew of. So I said look at this... we were both a bit perplexed.

Julie started to empty out the can as she always does, she takes it out by hand to make sure that nothing got dropped in there by little hands that wasn't supposed to be in there... like hair clips and the like. It was at that time that she mentioned that she doesn't understand why it's wet (that wasn't the first time that she's found it wet either) all the way to the bottom... all the tissue is on the damper side. We wondered if for some odd reason someone was using it instead of the toilet. That was yesterday... and it was also yesterday that it was completely emptied.

So this morning I used the bathroom and noticed some TP hanging over the edge, it was brown and wet. Again???????? Now I'm thinking it looks more like #2 than old blood. Plus the fact that we always know when someone has a bloody nose because the others (the ones not having the bloody nose) will run around screaming "SO & SO HAS A BLOODY NOSE! SO & SO HAS A BLOODY NOSE!"

Having the usual suspects (Jake, Rachael and Lyndsey) in one area, it was time to start with the inquisition. Before going any further... you've heard the phrase "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down"... well for some other odd reason, certain people in this house subscribe to if it's brown, it hangs around. A reason you will understand shortly.

I ask, "who pooped this morning?"
Lyndsey, "not me."
Jake, "me."
Rachael... nothing

So Jake, did you throw the toilet paper in the garbage can? No, but sometimes I do. Why? I'm afraid to flush, I don't want the toilet to overflow. (that has happened on more than one occasion... I know shocking) Anyway, he swears that it wasn't him this time. This also helps to explain why we find poo in the toilet without TP.

Meanwhile I catch a look at Rachael and so I ask her. She sits in silence... Your honor, I'd like to drop all charges against Jakob and Lyndsey. I'd like to call Rachael to the stand. So here's what I was able to find out/surmise.

Rachael too is afraid that the toilet will overflow... and let's be honest, we've all had it happen to us and there's a bit of panic that sets in as you watch the swirl slow down and the water level rise. You're frantically looking for the plunger in hopes that you can keep it down enough from the top so that when you "plunge" you don't send waves crashing over the side and onto the floor.

As adults, we know what to do, imagine what it's like for a five year old. Anyhow, I ask her, "so Rachael, why do you wipe and then toss it in the toilet and then fish it out?" Her reply was, "I wash my hands." So let me get this straight... what I got is a kid afraid to flush for fear of an overflow, so she takes it upon herself to take care of the "problem" by wiping, tossing, fishing and then disposing. At least it's no longer the poo she's fishing... read this.

One mystery solved... one pending.

We seem to have a poltergeist that has a penchant for keys. It started when Julie could no longer find her key for the Sequoia. I said use the valet key until we find it. Now it's missing too. So she started using my key off my ring. Yup... was here last night, she went to the store, but when I went to go run an errand tonight, it wasn't hanging up. As of my writing this, we have a very expensive paper weight sitting outside. If only she parked it in the lawn, then we'd have a very expensive (and big) lawn ornament. Do me a favor... if you see our Sequoia rolling around with us not in it, ask where they found my key.

We're going to look mighty funny pushing the Sequoia around Monday morning for school.