Smell That?

That rancid smell that is penetrating your nasal passage is the smell of the White Sox, or if you're over here, it's a fading musty smell wafting up from our recently drained indoor pool... a.k.a. our basement.

The scent of fall is in the air, it's been there all along, we just couldn't smell it through all the humidity and rain that we've had to encounter recently. Looking over the upcoming forecast, the weather (in a word) looks delightful. There's a word that we don't use enough... Delightful... said it again, no really, I actually said it aloud as I typed it. Say it with me... DE-LIGHT-FUL.

I know it's been a coon's age since I last posted something of length or substance. Can anyone tell me exactly what that phrase means anyway? Coon's age... I guess, for me anyway, it just falls into the category of just one of those sayings that we hear from time to time. I recently heard another... as drunk as a bunch of Indians. So I asked exactly how drunk is that?

Yeah... he didn't know either.

September's just waiting in the wings. As I look at the lower right hand corner of my screen here (and hover the mouse over said corner) I see that tomorrow marks the end of August... my *shudders* 43rd August. September just so happens to be my favorite month with October being a very close second. I love the fall... the crisp dry air, the changing of the leaves, cool nights that don't require my electric meter to spin like a tornado in order to enjoy a nights sleep. It also means that school is back in session.

The kids went back on the 23rd of August, so it's been a week already. Emmah's started Jr. High... 6th grade. Nick is in 4th and Jake is in 1st. Rachael is holding out for a better deal... she's in arbitration and is considering becoming a free agent. She misses the cut-off by a few days and so is taking part in home school Jeff & Julie style... mostly Julie right now, unless Rachael wants to learn how to put up clapboard siding. We initially were going to pursue getting her in (she's way ready for kindergarten) but in the end decided not to. Now with us working with her, she's going to be more than ready come next year.

As time marches on, there are things that as a parent that you are unprepared for. Things that you didn't exactly know were going to happen, or things that you didn't think would be said. This just happened to me the other day and it was said by Emmah, to me. I first need to do a bit of set up though.

Sorry, was just interrupted by a confused 6yr old little boy. He was doing the I gotta pee dance, but wasn't sure in what direction the dance floor was. I was quick to show him to the commode since there have been times that he doesn't seem to remember where to go, or does but forgets to lift the lid. Darin, if you're reading this, you might want to take note... perhaps teach the twins to pee in the tub.

Back to Emmah... Emmah seems to be making up for lost time and has to decided to jump (both feet) into school again. School starts at 8am, but she wants to be a teachers aide... that requires her getting to school at 7:30. Incidentally, this works out better because with her starting at 8 and the boys starting at 8 and the schools being in the opposite direction of each other it meant that everyone had to get up to get the kids to school... I'd take Emmah in the van and Julie would take the boys and everyone else in the truck. The 7:30 start time allows me to take her and then come home and pick up the boys and take them... the morning school shuttle service.

As usual, I digress...

Part of the deal was that in order for her to be an aide, it meant that she'd have to be diligent about getting to bed early enough... she does need her rest since she's still in recovery. Let's just say that she's a bit sluggish in the morning... I for one can totally relate. As stated, she's a bit sluggish and I end up nagging and pushing just a bit... the morning nagging isn't exclusive to just Emmah though... the boys can be sloth-like too. Anyhow, the other morning as we were getting ready to leave, she came to me and exasperatingly said because of my rushing her, I made her forget to put on her bra... which was followed promptly with a 180 and a dash off.

That's when it hits ya... pwang... right on the nose.

How do you prepare for that?

Lemme answer that... you don't and you can't.

Sigh...

What else...

Recently, I've had a couple of encounters with a very domesticated wild woodchuck. He lives under my neighbor's front porch, but seems to be in our yard a lot. One day last week, I heard some rustling in the bushes and I look to see him just sitting there looking back at me. I really didn't (and don't) want him (or her) in our yard.... he shows no fear of humans at all and the last thing I need is for one of the kids to get too close. It naturally positions itself in a place that isn't easy to access so that leaves me with limited options.

My first unsuccessful attempt was intimidation... I got as close as I could (without crawling back there myself and leaving me in a compromised position) and made a motion towards him. Picture if you will an overweight 42 year old trying to intimidate a woodchuck with a stomp and a loud HA!... GIT!

I think he was laughing too.

So I kind of felt like Carl Spackler (Bill Murray) in Caddyshack... "I think the foolin' around's pretty much over" A quick glance around told me that my weapons were limited to some left over logs that were sitting in the flowerbed. I had Nick cut up a branch from a tree that I trimmed and there were several 12-18 inch logs, 3" in diameter. So I toss one in his direction... kicks a bit of dirt at him and he doesn't so much as blink. Okay tough guy... here's another for ya. This one lands inches away from him, but he stood fast and didn't even flinch. I tossed a third and then a forth... it was the forth one that made him take a step. A single solitary step. If I had a BB gun, I'da popped a BB on his furry rodent backside. I mean he deserved it as he sat there mockingly staring at me as if to say you gotta do better than that pops.

So I ask, how much wood would a Jeff chuck if a woodchuck ducked chucked wood?

Other than that, it's pretty much the standard issue events going on around here.

KUIYTAP...